No Waking

I feel numb; the cold linoleum floor is spreading through my body, turning me to ice but I can hear their helpless screams; hollowing down the corridor, punctuated only by his gunshots. Cowering beneath this desk, I daren’t move; no sounds now… a deathen silence falls around me. This has to be a nightmare, let it be so…

Less than twenty minutes ago, walking up the street to this building … just an office I used to work in. Dan know what’s going to happen, I’m sure of that.. even then. It’s the way that he smirks as he tells me what we’re here for: just to scare some woman who owes some money… telephone operator by day, adult provocateur by night.. We’re just there to frighten her.

And Dan is frightening, but not in an obvious way. To glance at him you might think studiously handsome but then you’d see a flawed expression; a lack of empathy, a calculated glint in his eyes and you know.. somehow know, that he’s working out all the ways that he can make you suffer; and that he’s good for it. It’s his job… I’m just along for the ride…just.. because.. He’s a friend of a friend who I owe too many favours to. This is a quick payback, and I never questioned why it was so quick.

Wedged under the desk, I’m cramping up now but there’s nowhere else to hide. It’s not possible to see where I am from the door.. but it’s not locked, and he only has to walk into the centre of the room and then I’m dead too.

We’re close to the building now and Dan is still incredulous that my given name is Patsy. And as I explain it to him for the fourth time I have to remember not to make him angry. He’s already threatened me four times in the last ten minutes.

“I’m called.. well, my name is Peter Palmer, but I’ve always been called Patsy.. like Patsy Palmer.. and it stuck.” I sigh and he mocks me, replying, “But you’re Peter Palmer… the amazing Patsy.” He chuckles knowingly.

We find the right floor; Allyson stands at the front of the office, just as radiant as I last saw her 10 years ago; though now she’s a head of department. I open the door and walk in; she looks round puzzled but pleased to see me as recognition sets in… this turns to horror as I step aside and she sees Dan… sees him for the killer that I couldn’t recognise. She looks to me, disbelief and terror widening her eyes and from nowhere he pulls something… at first I think it’s a knife, just part of the act to frighten her.. but then… everything changes.

They say that television has numbed us to violence, they use words like desensitisation… they know nothing. I saw Alison crumple seemingly before the chilling report of the gun, blood spatter a crimson Rorschach against the wall.

I couldn’t shout her name… the screams drowned everything out as Dan never stopped firing, no longer at the downed Allyson but indiscriminately into the office.

Somehow I found the strength, not to leap in and stop Dan but to leave the bloodbath, god help me, and just ran.

I look down at my hands and there is blood on them, her blood…

I ran but know that it’s far too late for me, I’m a marked man now…. Maybe… maybe I can hide it out, wait for Dan to get killed and then surrender.  But now his footsteps are outside the door and I can hear him snicker. “p.p.p.pick up a patsy, Patsy.” And he slowly, carefully opens the door. He has all the time in the world; and like a nightmare he knows exactly where I am. He senses me, smells my fear like it’s a tangible entity. I can see him, somehow through the desks. I can see his smile, devoid of anything but the desire to inflict pain. He looks around the room almost nonchalantly before locking onto my eyes.

“So much for the second coming.” He says and I know now that this is no nightmare… no waking….